Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Expert, Coach, Author & Energy Practitioner
I’m Michele Lee Nieves and I’ve dedicated my life to helping victims of narcissistic abuse on their journey to escape, heal and fall madly in love with themselves and their life.
Nobody understands what you're going through more than someone who has been there. I grew up with narcissistic family member and had intimate relationships with malignant narcissists. For the majority of my healing journey, I felt as if I was all alone. I now dedicate my life to being the person for others, that I needed on my own healing journey, so that YOU never feel alone.
My name is Michele and I am originally born and raised in upstate NY, although I am currently living my dream of living abroad here in the beautiful country of Mexico. It is fascinating to live here near the Sea of Cortez as traveling had always been a passion of mine. However, it wasn’t until I made self-care and inner healing a priority that I was able to experience the truth with how life changes for the better as we raise our vibration.
I am happy to say that I am remarried to an emotionally healthy man that not only adores me, but my children as well. Having a relationship after decades of narcissistic abuse can be a challenge, but with love, compassion and forgiveness our family bonds continue to grow.
I now have two teenage kids!! How did that happen???? Sometimes I blink and get flashes of the little girl, wrapped like a taco, that I brought home from the hospital; or the little boy with chocolate all over his face because food was not only a pleasure to his palate but was also used as face paint.
Sadly emotional dysfunction is often generational – but my children are thriving as life continues to thrust them toward adulthood.
While life right now is pretty darn amazing, that hasn’t always been the case. From the time I was a child, I knew that there was something not quite right. I could see young kids just…. being. I didn’t feel as if I was allowed to be – to just simply be….me. I had formed an internal prison and been trained to react to any slight indication of authenticity or originality or if exhibiting the normal neediness of a child. Any sign of individuality and that self was thrown back in that internal prison.
Being raised in a narcissistic environment never allowed me to develop a self, rather I was on a never-ending quest at proving my worth as a human being. I was certain there was some kind of formula, that if I just tried hard enough, if I just figured out what I kept doing that was wrong and bad – I could rectify it and gain the love I was so thirsty for.
Well, as the years went on – things went from bad to worse and at 15 years old I attempted suicide. I still look back on that day, I was so young and yet so convinced that not being alive, not existing would be less painful than having my existence shamed and looked down upon by those whose love I was so desperate to “gain”.
Three months after turning 16, I left home with nothing but the shirt on my back. I had nowhere to go, no money, no job so…. I went to school, and there I met a young girl whose family saved my life.
For the first time I was surrounded by people that were not narcissistic, nor borderline nor emotionally manipulative. I began to grow as a person, however because I did not understand narcissistic abuse, I did not do the inner work to heal. As a result, narcissists were drawn to me like sharks to blood and I spent another 16 years in relationships with narcissists. What my narcissistic caregivers began…. The narcissistic men in my life finished.
By the end of a long-term narcissistic relationship, I felt erased, a shell of a person, clinging desperately to reality. History has a way of repeating itself, and one day I found myself running away once again – leaving a note and leaving with no money, no place to go and this time with two kids tucked under my arms.
In a way, the date December 31, 2011 was both my ground zero and my date of freedom all rolled up in one. I began an intense healing journey that would open my eyes to just how far back the emotional abuse was rooted. For the first time in my life I realized that I needed to stop focusing externally on the behavior of others and fully focused internally on my own beliefs and behaviors. I made it my mission to connect to my true self, learning to allow myself to “be” while generating for myself true compassion, self-acceptance and love. Others may have tried to stifle my true self, but I refused to continue in that learned behavior – I would never allow myself to stifle myself into some internal prison ever again.
I now dedicate my life to helping victims of narcissistic abuse and/or psychological manipulation, whether it was abuse by a parent, spouse, friend, family member or co-worker, so that others too can thrive in life despite their upbringing and faulty programming.
My YouTube Channel, with over 8 million views, has uplifted, encouraged and enlightened many by inviting people to join me from the beginning steps of my own journey to heal, to where I am today – striving to inspire and assist others on their own personal journey.