Michele Lee Nieves
I’m Michele Lee Nieves and I’ve dedicated my life to helping victims of narcissistic abuse and those suffering with complex ptsd, to heal and embrace the life that they want as their authentic self!!
Nobody understands what you're going through more than someone who has been there. I spent decades around individuals that I feel are high on the spectrum of narcissism. For most of those decades I had no idea what malignant narcissism was. In fact, I thought a narcissist was someone in love with themselves. I had no idea of the manipulation, psychological abuse and brainwashing that takes place when you are dealing with malignant narcissists whether in the family, with friends or co-workers. For years I felt alone and confused, trying to explain to others what I was eye witnessing was like speaking a foreign language.
Most of my healing I did alone, stumbling along trying to find what tools would help me to reverse the damaging affects of such insidious manipulation. It wasn't easy, it wasn't a smooth journey, but I did it!!! And now I dedicate my life to being the person for others that I needed while on my own healing journey so that YOU never feel alone on this road back to self.
I have received extensive training in trauma recovery, life coaching by an ICF accredited program, Psych K (a tool to help re-wire your subconscious mind and end self-sabotage, Kinesiology for muscle testing and holistic healing, and NLP.
My desire was to heal myself - after all, how could I help others and be a coach to others if I couldn't help and be a coach to myself first!!! And now I utilize all of my training to help individuals, all over the world from Australia, South Africa, India, Qatar, Ireland, Italy, Canada, Turkey, Pakistan, Argentina, and Japan to mention a few, to truly heal and embrace their lives. I cannot change my past, but utilizing it for good has been so richly rewarding.
My name is Michele and I am originally born and raised in upstate NY, although I am currently living my dream of living abroad here in the beautiful country of Mexico. It is fascinating to live here near the Sea of Cortez as traveling had always been a passion of mine. However, it wasn’t until I made self-care and inner healing a priority that I was able to experience the truth with how life changes for the better as we raise our vibration.
I am happy to say that I am married to an emotionally healthy man that not only adores me, but my children as well. Having a relationship after growing up and having different relationships with people that I feel may be high on the spectrum of narcissism - whether at work, friendships or with family members, can be a challenge, but with love, compassion and forgiveness our family bonds continue to grow.
I now have two teenage kids!! How did that happen???? Sometimes I blink and get flashes of the little girl, wrapped like a taco, that I brought home from the hospital; or the little boy with chocolate all over his face because food was not only a pleasure to his palate but was also used as face paint.
Sadly emotional dysfunction is often generational – but I'm so happy that the generational dysfunction stopped with me. One of the most healing things that we can do for our children is to heal ourselves, to break out of living unconscious so that we can parent them from a healthy place inside. We cannot hope to verbally teach our children to heal and to live authentically if we ourselves have not healed and are not living authentically!
While life right now is pretty darn amazing, that hasn’t always been the case. From the time I was a child, I knew that there was something not quite right. I could see young kids just…. being. I didn’t feel as if I was allowed to be – to just simply be….me. I had formed an internal prison and been trained to react to any slight indication of authenticity or originality or if exhibiting the normal neediness of a child. Any sign of individuality and that self was thrown back in that internal prison.
Being raised in a narcissistic environment never allowed me to develop a self, rather I was on a never-ending quest at proving my worth as a human being. I was certain there was some kind of formula, that if I just tried hard enough, if I just figured out what I kept doing that was wrong and bad – I could rectify it and gain the love I was so thirsty for.
Well, as the years went on – things went from bad to worse and at 15 years old I attempted suicide. I still look back on that day, I was so young and yet so convinced that not being alive, not existing would be less painful than having my existence shamed and looked down upon by those whose love I was so desperate to “gain”.
Three months after turning 16, I left home with nothing but the shirt on my back. I had nowhere to go, no money, no job so…. I went to school, and there I met a young girl whose family saved my life.
For the first time I was surrounded by people that were not narcissistic, nor borderline nor emotionally manipulative. I began to grow as a person, however because I did not understand narcissistic abuse, I did not do the inner work to heal. As a result, narcissists were drawn to me like sharks to blood and I spent a lot of time in relationships with individuals that I feel were not emotionally healthy. What my narcissistic caregivers began…. I began to finish by subconsciously choosing to be around individuals that seemed to re-create the dynamics that I had in childhood . There is a term in psychology called repetition compulsion which helps us to understand that if we do not heal our old wounds, we will be driven subconsciously to re-create them in an effort to heal them.
After attempting to heal my wounds erroneously, through relationships that recreated the dynamics from my childhood, eventually I simply felt erased, like a shell of a person, clinging desperately to reality.
It wasn't until I hit what I felt was rock bottom, that I began an intense healing journey that would open my eyes to just how far back the emotional abuse was rooted. For the first time in my life I realized that I needed to stop focusing externally on the behavior of others and fully focused internally on my own beliefs and behaviors. I made it my mission to connect to my true self, learning to allow myself to “be” while generating for myself true compassion, self-acceptance and love. Others may have tried to stifle my true self, but I refused to continue in that learned behavior – I would never allow myself to stifle myself into some internal prison ever again.
As a life coach, I now dedicate my life to helping victims of narcissistic abuse and/or psychological manipulation, whether it was abuse by a parent, spouse, friend, family member or co-worker, so that others too can thrive in life despite their upbringing and faulty programming.
My YouTube Channel, with over 14 million views, has uplifted, encouraged and enlightened many by inviting people to join me from the beginning steps of my own journey to heal, to where I am today – striving to inspire and assist others on their own personal journey.