This is a message I recently received from a victim of narcissistic abuse that is now in her 70’s:
“I am so very grateful I found your article! It illustrates and explains every single time my narcissistic mother has destroyed, or at least attempted to destroy, my joy, sense of accomplishment, and relationships with immediate and extended family members and friends.
Now, all the bizarre puzzle pieces are falling into place to create a startling accurate picture of the woman who has tortured me as long as I can remember in my 73 years. And, yes, the monster is still alive and fully capable of creating agony and chaos. Although I suspected that she was actually enjoying the extreme pain she has caused, I couldn’t understand how anyone could derive such evil pleasure. Now I do!
Thank you so very much for this extremely revealing and relieving information!
Very best wishes and my gratitude,
That message truly broke my heart because the truth is that decades ago there was no internet, no Youtube, blogs, forums, no one raising awareness about what happens behind the closed doors of the ‘perfect family.’ Malignant narcissists are all about their image, polishing it in the eyes of those outside the home while those living under the same roof feel as if they are going crazy due to the gaslighting and psychological abuse.
Adult children of malignant narcissistic parents can spend a lifetime clinging to sanity and striving to prove their reality, only to feel as if they never get through, no one ever ‘get’s it’, there is no hope.
And sadly, that’s exactly what MN want you to do!! They want you to think that you cannot hold onto or even believe your reality without their stamp of approval or agreement with you – but this is a lie that keeps you tangled up in their web.
The reality is – you don’t need them to agree with you to know that they are psychologically abusive, you don’t need others to understand and validate your reality and pain for you to be able to begin healing.
Your perspective, your reality are enough to begin the healing journey.
The first step is letting go….
Letting go of needing them to see the truth.
Letting go of proving to anyone your personal truth.
Letting go of changing them.
Letting go of needing their approval.
Letting go of the identity they forced you to believe was the ‘real you’.
Letting go of what you cannot change.
Healing is done in stages, and it takes time, effort and compassion. Unburdening yourself with the above will lighten the load as you travel the journey back to your authentic self.
Sending you good vibes only..
Nobody understands what you're going through more than someone who has been there. I grew up with narcissistic family member and had intimate relationships with malignant narcissists. For the majority of my healing journey, I felt as if I was all alone. I now dedicate my life to being the person for others, that I needed on my own healing journey, so that YOU never feel alone.