How To Be a Successful Life Coach – One Mistake I’ve Seen

By Michele Nieves | Narcissist Traits

Aug 10

Those that know me well know that becoming a life coach changed my life. It allowed me to take something ‘ugly’ and transform it into a useful tool that had the ability to help re-shape so many lives (including my own!). Leaving a small fingerprint on the healing journey that others take is such an honor as well as so rewarding. Being my own boss, setting my hours and traveling (at least up until Covid hit) were some of the bonuses of being a life coach.

Now that I am an instructor and teach others how to become life coaches as well, I have the priviledge of meeting so many individuals from all over the world that are reaching out for this career path. Some have gone on to create passionate careers helping others, and it’s been so exciting watching them grow, but the reality is that some struggle to get their business off the ground. I was recently asked by a friend – what was the key to helping you become a successful life coach?

The truth is there are many layers to that question – for the sake of this article I will focus on one thing that that I did accidentally correct that truly was so beneficial as to helping my business grow.

When I first began my Youtube Channel it was part of my own inner healing journey. I shared where I was emotionally (which was not the best place, that’s for sure). I was vulnerable and honest and dedicated to sharing and helping others. From the start I was providing content with the view of helping others and that was a huge part of what helped my life coaching business grow.

It may sound simple but – rather than thinking…. I need this, that and the other thing in order to be a life coach, I simply began BEING it, and then doing things in harmony with who I was at the core. Part of my identity became: I am a person that has valuable information that can truly shift others on their healing journey. Living in harmony with that identity meant I was posting regularly on Youtube as well as putting valuable information together that could benefit others.

Within the first 6 months of my channel, when I had a mere 2,000 subscribers – I made available the PDF When the Devil’s the Defendant – dedicated to helping individuals that are going to court and battling custody and/or child support issues with high conflict individuals. At that time I didn’t have ANY clients – but I continued working in harmony with my identity as someone that could truly help others.

Within 6 months of that release I made another PDF available entitled I Miss Me and I Want Me Back, an interactive self-help journal for people that have lost themselves in toxic relationships. Those two publications were a valuable resource for others way before I was generating regular clients.

Why am I sharing this?

Because I see people that want to become life coaches doing things in reverse. They think they need this, that and the other thing FIRST and THEN they can feel like they can consider themselves a life coach. The truth is – until YOU see yourself that way on the inside – the exterior will not line up in a way that makes it easy for you.

I watched a video on Youtube that talks about shifting your identity and why this is so important. He stated – an artist that thinks I need a gallery and/or people buying my paintings in order to say I’m an artist will often times never reach their goals because they are waiting for the exterior to ‘give them permission’ to be an artist. If you are an artist – you live in harmony with your identity and that’s when things take shape.

Well, it’s the same thing with life coaching. If we wait for the exterior to give us permission to become a life coach – it may never happen. However, if you change your identity – see yourself as a life coach, live in harmony with that identity, you will be amazed at the results.

Don’t get me wrong – there is more involved in becoming a life coach than changing your identity to see yourself as one – however, I promise you that if you DON’T take this step – no matter how hard you try at the external, it just won’t happen. This is the FIRST step – the ‘this, that, and the other thing’ comes after!!!

To anyone striving to reach their goal as a life coach, I challenge you to daily ask yourself: If I truly consider myself to be a life coach – what would I be doing today that would be in harmony with that? What thoughts would I be having? What emotions would I be generating?


About the Author

Nobody understands what you're going through more than someone who has been there. I grew up with narcissistic family member and had intimate relationships with malignant narcissists. For the majority of my healing journey, I felt as if I was all alone. I now dedicate my life to being the person for others, that I needed on my own healing journey, so that YOU never feel alone.