Often I am asked by mothers leaving narcissistic partners, if going back to live with Mom is a good idea even if she displays narcissistic tendencies.
It’s very tempting to grasp hold of an outreached hand when you are in need, have little ones to care for and feel all alone as if the world is resting on your shoulders.
Leaving one emotionally abusive relationship for another will always end bad, no matter how we try to rationalize it in our minds; no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves that our narcissistic mother wants to be there and help us.
If you are in this situation, it’s important to remember how narcissistic mothers operate so as to not fall into their trap when you are most vulnerable.
Consider the following facts:
1) Narcissistic mothers ALWAYS seek narcissistic supply from their children and that supply is almost always in the form of provoking negative feelings in their children.
2) Narcissistic mothers ALWAYS use guilt and shame on their daughters in an effort to control them.
3) Narcissistic grandmothers will pick a golden grandchild and a scapegoat and will manipulate the siblings against each other.
4) Narcissistic mothers are MISERABLE inside and will seek to make sure that your unhappiness continues, they will sabotage all your efforts to be happy and back on your feet once again.
5) If they do help you, as in give you a roof over your head, Narcissistic mothers will always rub it in your face so that you never forget how indebted you are to them….they now own you and will never let you forget it.
6) Narcissistic mothers will NEVER respect your boundaries, they will go through your things, they will interfere with your parenting.
7) If you find someone that treats you well, the narcissistic mother will criticize him, find fault with him and do everything in her power to make sure you do not find an emotionally healthy person that will love you unconditionally.
8) Often the Narcissistic mother will encourage you to make decisions that they know will cause you hardship….and when they do..they will blame YOU for the decisions and claim it’s your fault for NOT listening to them.
9) The Narcissistic mother has been known to kick their children out of the house when they are most vulnerable…whether you have kids or not!!!! There is no sense of security when living with the narcissistic mother.
10) Narcissistic mothers will try to sabotage how your children VIEW YOU!!! They will continue the abuse that you are running from and continue to create problems, triangulation, emotional abuse, confusion and gaslighting in not only their children but their grandchildren as well.