You have filed the papers….everything is in order.
The apartment is smaller than the house you left behind, but it’s so cozy….and peaceful without the yelling, anger hanging in the air, depression, pain, hurtful words, tear stained pillows.
Yes, this small apartment is a tiny piece of heaven…and with your little ones slowly adapting to their change of circumstances you can’t help but wonder…why didn’t I do this sooner??
It’s a quiet night, how nice it was to tuck the kids in, kiss them goodnight without the narcissist screaming and disrupting the evening routine as if loving your child is a crime.
Sifting through the mail, tossing aside advertisements and other junk mail, there’s an envelope from family court. With trembling hands you open it and what you read
causes your heart to beat so loud you’re almost certain it will wake up the neighbors above.
He wants custody?!?!?!
The divorce has been finalized and a visitation schedule has been worked out…one that he didn’t seem to care about even upholding, there were more missed visitations than exercised ones…..all until he had to pay child support.
That was too much for the narcissist….the thought that he/she would have
to pay child support, that it was demanded, who dare have the right to try to tell a narcissist what to do with money and how much to give to the person that discarded??
The above scenario is all too common. The narcissist, while desperate to convince others that they are the perfect parent…feel very little need to actually BE a good parent….the mirage, the fantasy they create is enough for them. They play their false image in their minds over and over until….they actually believe that that’s how they truly are.
It’s sad that a narcissist is content with others thinking they are a great parent as opposed to actually being a great parent and receiving that validation not by outsiders, but by their own kids.
The truth is they do not seek the approval of their children, nor do they care about the relationship they have….or lack of…with their kids; that is, until they are forced to do something that causes a loss for them.
Now, only a narcissist would view paying child support as a loss. I have met many amazing fathers whose family was divided and they were glad to pay child support; many told me they did it because they never wanted their child to think they abandoned them. Their paying child support
was viewed as a an expression of love, as well as regular visits, phone calls, and personal interest shown to their children. But the narcissist doesn’t want to prove their love…they want to tell you they love you, give you no evidence and expect you to accept their version of reality with no questions asked.
Should a narcissist get away with not paying child support? Of course not, it’s not fair, it’s wrong.
Why should you do all the work while they smear your name while polishing their false image before others?
However, I do want to give this tiny warning….if you do try to get child support from a narcissist that has discarded the children…be prepared for them to retaliate with trying to get custody or more visitation in hopes of paying less child support. Are you willing to have your children spend more time with an abusive parent? Are you willing to do a face to face in family court with an expert manipulator intent on taking your children away…simply to avoid feeling forced to do something?
These are questions that deserve careful consideration!
The PDF entitled “When The Devils The Defendant” has helped many victims,
that are battling a narcissist in court, to present the strongest case possible!
You can never be too prepared: http://payhip.com/b/Kl21